It’s Nell’s first week of living with us, and like her human brothers and sisters, she’s following
their examples by pushing all the boundaries.
She’s hidden behind a sofa to urinate, been told off for skidding on the floor and been read the
riot act on the topic of the use of scatter cushions.
Click here for a very silly song
She’s sleeping a lot, again, just like our children at the worst possible times of the day. She seems to be a fan of getting a massive surge of energy around 10pm, which feels familiar.
How Has Nell Impacted the family in week 1?
The 1st weekend of puppy life resulted in having to mop floors possibly more times than the previous 9 years combined.
There were puddles and poos, and irrespective of how much we all stood in the garden telling her to “poo poo!” or “wee!” she seemed much happier to wait till we’d carried her back into the house before piddling behind a sofa or pooing under the kitchen table.
It did feel like going back to the days of having a newborn in the house. My wife and I swiftly broke all the promises of not pandering to night time crying.
On Saturday night my wife was holding a puppy paw through the bars of her crate. I laughed at her about it on Sunday morning, then did precisely the same on Sunday night.
The one noticeable and exciting difference which would make cleaning up numerous stinky treats is that for the first Monday morning, maybe ever, there was no shouting.
I didn’t have to beg anyone to get their shoes or to wear a fleece or get into the car. They all agreed that they wanted to get to school as quickly as possible so that Nell wouldn’t have to spend a long time alone in the house.
No one has a hissy fit about their socks. No one turned the air blue because I wouldn’t let them play Fortnite and no one locked themselves in the bathroom. It was a little bit like magic just with a slightly doggy whiff.
My working alone from home 5 days a week has a faint doggy smelling undertone to it, but it feels genuinely comforting to have a warm puppy lying on your bare feet during lengthy zoom calls.
Even though I am acutely aware that the “baby dog” novelty will wear off, my children definitely seem to be calmer and moods have softened. There are noticeably less dramatic exits stage right, slamming of doors and growls of frustrations about it being bedtime. Can I have ten more minutes on my x box seems to have been momentarily replaced with
“Can and I go and say goodnight to Nell?”
My wife has slotted back into maternal mode demanding pictures of her poo on the fake grass she bought to hopefully ease the transition from pooing under the kitchen table to pooing outside.
That said much as she argues it’s all part of operation “Training puppy” I also think it’s a way to check I am following her strict guidelines throughout the day.
How long can I leave my puppy alone at this stage?
Puppies, like young children, will be much more dependent on their owners than adult dogs. In that they are still very much an infant, they require more attention, care and supervision leaving a puppy alone for too long can cause them to develop separation anxiety and stress. Puppies also need to be fed more frequently than adult dogs and be let out to go for a wee or a poo every few hours.
If in doubt, ask your mum. That said, I would only ask your mum if she
Has had a puppy, maybe ideally of a similar breed
Her dog seems to have been trained well.
My Mum, as I have previously mentioned has a Labrador she has had since a puppy who is pretty well behaved. If you disregard the standard Labrador behaviour of rolling in fox poo, eating dead rabbits whole and doing the first rinse of the dirty plates as they’re being loaded into the dishwasher.
What she told me also marries up with what I found doing the research for this book.
Apparently, a good rule of thumb is that you really shouldn’t be leaving a puppy alone for more than 2-3 hours a day.
There will be times when your life dictates that you need to leave your puppy safely alone in their crate.
When you need to do the (at most 40 minutes) round trip school run.
When you must do the (at least 2 hours) to help coach kids Jui Jitsu classes.
You make a rod for your own back if you overly pander to your dog or spoil it.
In the same way that the research implies that things like letting them beg when you’re eating, or nip you or sleeping next to their crate to alleviate their loneliness or to alleviate your sadness at listening to yelps and cries for the first hour after you put them to bed and turn the lights off is just teaching them bad habits.
That is teaching your puppy that if it cries long enough ( a bit like a child asking for another ice cream, mobile phone, money for Robucks) they will get what they want which is not the, relationship you want between you and anyone or anything in your care.
As long as your dog has some access to water and has recently been let out to do its business, you have to help it get used to being left alone in its crate for up to 2 hours.
You have to be able to live your life and do all the things that make the luxury of having a dog possible.
The sooner you can be brave and do the hard miles by this, I mean get used to your beautiful baby dog crying or yelping a bit because it’s been put in its crate, the sooner it will learn to accept the coming and going of their family caring for it.
From some of the comments my wife has passed on from the "Nell's littermates WhatsApp group" I feel we’ve had it pretty easy.
The longest she’s been left alone so far is about an hour, and according to my wife, who returned home on day 1 before me, she was greeted with a puppy asleep in a crate not as feared, a distressed dog howling the house down.
She also hasn’t made any fuss when put her in her crate before the 45-minute round trip to drop the kids off at school.
She seems to have already got the measure of our two boys. When they are fizzing up from hearing the repeated news that they're not allowed a second ice cream, she calmly trots off for a nap in the safety of her crate. I am doing my best not to feel to jealous.
To watch a podcast about how I think dogs can positively affect your mental health.
- ABOUT THE AUTHORHello, I'm James & in 2014, I was an overwhelmed husband & father of 3. After nearly 10 years, lots of setbacks & enough coffee to sink a small ship, I’m much happier. I'm also on a mission to help other men be the best dads they can without losing their minds.As well as a blog about being a dad to a dog, I have written a 42-week guide to pregnancy called "First Time Dad"This is now available on Amazon in paperback and audiobook.If you would like a completely free digital copy of the book or one of my remaining promo codes for the Audiobook, please message me at mydadmissions@gmail.com to request one and also to join my mailing list.In regards to being on the mailing list, I only send one newsletter a month, and all I would hope for is that you might find a moment to give the book or audiobook a review on Amazon.Anyway, thanks again, and take good care of yourself.Jamesemail:mydadmissions@gmail.comwebsite: www.dadmindmatters.comMy "Dad Mind Matters" podcast is available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify#dadmindmatters #blogsaboutpuppies #blogsaboutfamilylife #funnyblogs #mentalhealth #mentalhealthpodcasts #goldenretrieverpuppy #1dadandhisdog
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